Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Type of RPG Character I hate #2: That Fat Pope Looking Guy

You generally see this guy every 1 out of 3 RPG games.  Its the Fat Pope Looking Guy.  8 times out of 10 this guy is usually evil and totally wants your party dead cause you exposed the truth.  The other time they're the guy that's totally unimportant unless you die, need healing, or he shows you a secret passage to escape your pursuers.  That other 1 time he sends you on a quest for some ancient holy artifact that in reality is totally useless to the plot or ends up being stolen, broken, or an absolute fake. So in other words you got sent on a wild goose chase to gain levels.

What's wrong with this guy.  Well aside from the fact that they're generally evil or the religion is well...evil.  They enforce this upon the entire world or town.  If you go against this you're a heathen and therefore must be killed. This isn't to say that actual religion in real life is bad in anyway cause remember its a video game.  (But I can point some easy comparisons between that subject but we're not here for that).  You see although it gives the people hope and such.  You find it hard to follow some of those customs as it rather dumb and there's some things that just don't add up to being well...morally right.  Wait we have to sacrifice a summoner every few years to hopefully pay for our sins...and we've been doing this for how long now???  We have to follow exactly what this giant magical rock we found says to the end of our lives even as far as to what we will eat and who to blow up??? Hold up...we have to have a competition of collecting summon spirits, to decide which group of people should live and die and there's no other way?   (Tales of the Abyss, Final Fantasy X, Arc Rise Fantasia reference)

Now what's bad about this is that the Fat-Pope-Looking-Guy will go to great lengths to kill you in order to enforce this supposed will of god.  Just because you have a mind that thinks differently from all the other NPCs.  Have you marked a heretic, turn into a boss monster, do some random crap behind the scenes that will affect you in the future.  Usually if they've done that then most likely you've discovered the truth behind things going on.  But onwards to the one thing I haven't touched on yet.

When you're sent on a quest for them.  Its generally a wild goose chase. Even if its to protect/save the world. Oh well the item of massive power is hidden deep in this dungeon filled with traps and monsters that the enemy can't possibly get access to but I don't think its safe so go get it for me.  Well you go to get it after facing traps and of course the guardian monster that no one with common sense would go face.  Only to find out this item is either absolutely useless, a fake, or stolen by the enemy who wanted you to solve all the puzzles you spent about 2 hours working with.  Oh thank you for your help now here's something that's absolutely useless to you.

The only time these characters are useful is when they're your generally hospital area.  We'll revive your party members, uncurse them, and save your game. Also if you game over you'll revive here.  Thank you cause of you we'll be able to save the world cause your here.  Even though you guys are becoming obsolete.