Friday, May 11, 2012

What's Been Going On With Me Lately

Generally to explain certain videos lately.  Or certain post in areas.  Its the best way I find to deal with the stress. Pretty much its mental issues from flashbacks, relapses, stress, etc.  While I did go look for help for these seems the best way is to go to a psychiatrist for help. Unforntunately stuff like that cost money I don't have.  The only way for myself to have insurance is that I have a job and even then it won't be provided by the job (unless its one of those where the risk on my life is very high) needless to say it will come out of my own pocket for such help.

A lot of crap goin in my mind. Now I know how Phoenix feels.

 I generally lost motivation to play online in virtually anything.  I've scaled back talking in JTV/TTV chats a lot. The desire I have to finish any project, stream, whatever leaves me in an instant.  I honestly can't watch/play a lot of games without breaking down crying for whatever reason (a lot of times I just don't know why). Needless to say it's affected virtually everything I do.

Most I can do for now is just keep myself busy till something happens.  Sorry if I worried anyone not much I can do about it but find my own ways of dealing with stress.  Taking a "break" won't help my situation as it makes things worse.  Probably the best decision I made was to start blocking a few people I know are just part of causes for stress.  If I'm not doing that I'm sleeping A LOT. I can't think of more to talk about that won't go too deep into my personal life.  I can't think of a way to tend this blog so I'll end it.