PartnershipI remember I posted a video asking the viewers, "hey what do you want to see?" What can I do for more views? And virtually got no responses. Which is rather disheartening. So I took another approach and looked at my own video ratings as well as other ppl's channels. What I found out was seriously depressing.
Basically my top 10 videos were all basically anime based and one being a random gameplay video of an old game. Worst yet looking at my latest videos it seems that videos I put 0 effort into gets more views than anything I put my all into. To make it worse looking at other channels I found that basically they were either 1 of 3 things.
- Always uploaded the latest and greatest game that's released. (I can't do that cause I'm poor and a lot of games I just don't want to play.
- Is virtually great at what they do and fans love them for it. (Very hard to follow cause stuff I'm great at no one cares for.)
- Completely SUCK at the game but there commentary and fails grab the viewers. (I.E. DSP, AngryGermanKid, etc.)
There's probably more but that's what I figured. Then I thought about the past mistakes I made (Monster Hunter Tri Fiasco, Ultimate Marvel 3, etc.) maybe that's why viewers left.
What I tried to do was cash in things ppl wanted to see. First being Kingdom Hearts 1.5. Since a US version isn't coming for a good while why not upload the PS2 version? Well that idea was totally wrong since I guess viewers are like why not just watch this other guy who has the Japanese version of 1.5? Makes sense I guess. So I tried going to other anime based games. Since I don't have Naruto I can go for Zoids. But again no one likes.
I tried talking to those that are partnered but I generally got no answer from them. Most of them told me "Don't worry about it." Yet those people have like 6 or 8+ times the amount of subscribers and viewers I have. Others won't even give me the time of day. I started to wonder if I had some sort of rep I don't know about.
Yeah it rears its ugly head again. Nothing I can really do about it. I personally still have a rough time dealing with it. It affects my gameplay, being social, really everything I do or try to do. A lot of times I have ideas for projects and then I feel that its totally useless to even try. Worst times I've actually thought of suicide and came close to trying it on occasion. If I wasn't keeping busy with everything else I would do it and get it over with. Especially since about a year ago I wrote out this elaborate plan on how to do it. Its a very trying time for me. But I guess that's what happens for guys like me. This Depression honestly has slowed me down quite a bit to where things that should take maybe an hour to finish take 3+ days to do. Its only made worse when I have people that are like, "Hey shut up! There's tons of ppl that have it worse than you!" I actually had to stop with a lot of games cause of it. Really I'm just afraid to touch a lot of games cause of it.
What's being Uploaded.
I haven't exactly decided. I really wanna make the best of the YT partnership and start off strong but hard to do so when choices are limited. I might try League of Legends but I'm not gonna really do anything with it. Finding a job is hard work as well since a lot of places either don't want me or the business isn't opening up till who knows when. But I'll continue KH1 for the time being I suppose.