Monday, April 1, 2013

April Woes (April 2013 Update)

Well Start of April and nothing to look forward to.


I remember I posted a video asking the viewers, "hey what do you want to see?" What can I do for more views?  And virtually got no responses.  Which is rather disheartening.  So I took another approach and looked at my own video ratings as well as other ppl's channels. What I found out was seriously depressing.

Basically my top 10 videos were all basically anime based and one being a random gameplay video of an old game.  Worst yet looking at my latest videos it seems that videos I put 0 effort into gets more views than anything I put my all into.  To make it worse looking at other channels I found that basically they were either 1 of 3 things.

  1. Always uploaded the latest and greatest game that's released. (I can't do that cause I'm poor and a lot of games I just don't want to play.
  2. Is virtually great at what they do and fans love them for it. (Very hard to follow cause stuff I'm great at no one cares for.)
  3. Completely SUCK at the game but there commentary and fails grab the viewers. (I.E. DSP, AngryGermanKid, etc.)
There's probably more but that's what I figured. Then I thought about the past mistakes I made (Monster Hunter Tri Fiasco, Ultimate Marvel 3, etc.) maybe that's why viewers left.  

What I tried to do was cash in things ppl wanted to see.  First being Kingdom Hearts 1.5.  Since a US version isn't coming for a good while why not upload the PS2 version?  Well that idea was totally wrong since I guess viewers are like why not just watch this other guy who has the Japanese version of 1.5?  Makes sense I guess.  So I tried going to other anime based games. Since I don't have Naruto I can go for Zoids.  But again no one likes.  

I tried talking to those that are partnered but I generally got no answer from them. Most of them told me "Don't worry about it." Yet those people have like 6 or 8+ times the amount of subscribers and viewers I have.  Others won't even give me the time of day.  I started to wonder if I had some sort of rep I don't know about.  


Yeah it rears its ugly head again.  Nothing I can really do about it.  I personally still have a rough time dealing with it.  It affects my gameplay, being social, really everything I do or try to do.  A lot of times I have ideas for projects and then I feel that its totally useless to even try.  Worst times I've actually thought of suicide and came close to trying it on occasion.  If I wasn't keeping busy with everything else I would do it and get it over with.  Especially since about a year ago I wrote out this elaborate plan on how to do it.  Its a very trying time for me.  But I guess that's what happens for guys like me.  This Depression honestly has slowed me down quite a bit to where things that should take maybe an hour to finish take 3+ days to do.  Its only made worse when I have people that are like, "Hey shut up! There's tons of ppl that have it worse than you!"  I actually had to stop with a lot of games cause of it. Really I'm just afraid to touch a lot of games cause of it.

What's being Uploaded.

I haven't exactly decided. I really wanna make the best of the YT partnership and start off strong but hard to do so when choices are limited.  I might try League of Legends but I'm not gonna really do anything with it.  Finding a job is hard work as well since a lot of places either don't want me or the business isn't opening up till who knows when. But I'll continue KH1 for the time being I suppose.