Brad Ry Returns: FFXIII-3 (Prolouge)
Brad: Its been a year since I played the last game. That year where Caius trolled all of us. And the world went boom. Now I'm back as the Savior and I'm supposed to save ppl and bring them to the next world. I got 13 days to do it, sounds like fun right?
Hope: Brad there's a lot of ppl at this party do you wanna turn back?
Brad: Why? I get to crash this awesome party.
*soldier's soul flies out of them*
Brad: Why am I rapturing ppl?
Snow: (I wonder how the fans will like my new look.)
*Chaos flows in*
Snow: Yeah...yeah I know.
Random Female: AHHH OMG Monsters! Help me I'm being dragged away classic horror movie style *scream*
Snow: The Savior is here...
Brad: Sup Snow! Why do you look like you wanna be in the next Devil May Cry game.
Snow: DAMN YOU!!!
Brad: Behold my awesome moves that you'll never get to use in the game till the end of it!
Snow: So what's it gonna be...You gonna "SAVE" me?
Brad: Why ya gotta be a jerk in this game?
Snow: THAT'S NOT THE ANSWER I WAS LOOKING FOR!
Lumina: Now now we can't let Snow be the tutorial boss fight. Then this game would be too easy.
Brad: Did I just see Serah?
Snow: Damn you Lumina!!! I'm outta here!
Brad: Wait Snow Come back!!!
Hope: You gotta have your tutorial fight first!!
Brad: WHYYYYY!!!!! Can't I read it in the instruction manual?!
Hope: What are you talking about? Focus on the enemy!
Tutorial: Ok we know you reviewed this same tutorial in the demo version of the game. But we're going to go over it again.
Tutorial: Oh and now you'll have situations where you'll have to fight more than one enemy.
Brad: Ok now to chase after Snow!
Shopkeep: Hi I'm here to help you by selling you stuff.
Brad: Why do you look like a dude from Assassin's Creed?
Hope: You gotta chase after Snow!
Brad: Oh right!
Hope: Oh yeah here's a tutorial on jumping and opening doors.
Brad: I don't think I need a tutorial on that.
Tutorial: Let me tell you how to jump and open doors!
Brad: ....Can we please get get on with the story.
Brad: Alright now to pursue Snow...Wait what's all this dark fog stuff.
Hope: Brad? Brad?! Where are you? My monitors are screwing up!
Brad: Hey its that girl again.
Lumina: Oh you made it this far. You must be pretty good well here's your tutorial boss fight!
Brad: Wait what?!
Tutorial: Ok now here's another tutorial. Press R2 to get a helpful analysis. Just like the old games and Persona series you have to guess to figure out the enemies weakness.
Brad: Ugh...that's totally useless...I'll just use a guide...
Tutorial: Oh and press L2 to do something awesome!
Brad: BRAVELY SECOND!
Brad: Ok now chase after Snow!
*Runs to locked door*
Brad: Hope the door locked can you open it?
Hope: Nope my computer sucks! Anyway there seems to be a lot of chaos building up behind that door.
Brad: Hmmmm...maybe my Savior powers will open the door.
Hope: Don't touch it! Anyway the cops are coming you need to get out of there!
Brad: But what about Snow?!
Hope: We'll get him later! You need to turn back now.
Brad: I can handle a few cops..
Hope: No you can't! You got a more important job to do! I'm transporting you back!
The ArkHope: Hey Brad welcome back. Now offer your spirit to Yggdrasil.
Brad: Wait why am I doing this?
Hope: Well the tree helps prolong the world's lifespan.
Brad: So I can have longer than 13 days?
Hope: No. But if you're not making progress in the game then the world will blow up and you'll fail the game and have to start all over from the beginning.
Brad: Wait what about you?
Hope: Well I don't know why I went back to the whiny kid version of myself. I don't even remember who exactly I am. I know that I'm Hope but I can't remember the emotions that happened in FF13-1 or 2.
Brad: Well that's awfully suspicious...
Hope: Oh, take a look at this monitor. These are all the main points of storyline. You need to go here and finish these.
Brad: So I can get back and save Snow?
Brad: ok so I'm going back there! Teleport me!
Hope: Well I can't... I only have one warp point available you'll have to go there by train.
Brad: This game is really starting to annoy me.