Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Update March 1st So Much I'm not gonna get cause of money.

Start of a new month and things are still not as desired.  But nothing I can really do to change that.


Well my uncle's kids are still around. There's still a lot of drama and controversy going on in that regard.  My uncle trying to play the system so he can come out with more cash. His wife is generally ok now she's back on her medication...for the time being.  However we're still stuck with the kids. DFACS (Child Services) is rather lazy in this regard. I think the person in charge of the case has been switched around 5 times already.  They don't call and they're supposed to have set up a court day for my uncle and aunt to see if they're capable of taking care of the kids. Nothing has been said.  We can't get any financial support cause we're family.  Would've been nice if we did get that.  So the most we get is a couple of cash handouts here and there from a few people. The money given is at least something but nothing to really write home about. At least its something.

To be honest I'm rather pissed off at my uncle. While he is a nice guy he likes to play everyone for his own benefits. Not saying he's a bad father at heart. Just a very lazy one. He's not ready mentally to be a father in my opinion and he needs to work on that.

My depression in the past couple of weeks to months really went off the scale. The past 2 weeks was the worst of it.  I had a few days where I was crying uncontrollably in a public place. It was so bad that friends had to take me home. Aside from how embarrassing that was I kept thinking about how badly I treat everyone cause of this depression. I really don't deserve them as friends. I couldn't think straight for the most part and last saturday was the worst of it.  My brain just kept screaming at me to kill myself. It wasn't fun at all since I wasn't at home. I was at a special meeting. Mentally I wasn't there I was busy battling my mind to not make a scene. But everyone that saw me gave me awkward looks, ignored me, or stopped to ask what was wrong. I couldn't really respond properly.  How bad it was for me, I had a good 6 - 8 seats next to me in the place empty. These are normally filled especially near the front row. Not fun. Most of that day I was thinking of ways to kill myself. Like tie my jacket around the bathroom stall and hang myself.  I don't know how I made it through that day. I guess it was the last talk that motivated me try and keep living.

Monday rolled around I finally got to see a doctor about all this.  One that can prescribe medication for this problem.  I'm not entirely too sure but it felt like he suspected that I was going to use drugs just to get high.  He didn't ask too much about my depressive episodes or suicidal thoughts. He spent more time explaining what medication does than anything. Like a college professor explanation. This guy literally pulled a book from his shelf and showed me how the medicine works. Then he tells me after prescribing some medication that he's going to retire next month. So the next time I go which is in April. I'm supposed to see a different doctor.  Well the medicine he prescribed is the same stuff I was on as a kid.  Says I won't really see a difference till a week later and take 1 every morning.


Well this is what you're concerned about right. I shouldn't bore you with life things.  I hate to say it but likely for the next couple of months I won't have much to talk about in the gaming department. Taxes, family cost, and other things seem to have eaten up my money.  I made plans to get games like DBZ Xenoverse, KH2.5, Under Night In-Birth EXE-Late. etc. but considering everything I need to get done this likely won't happen for another couple of months if it all.

From what I gather in terms of money. I have to take care of the following first.

  • Taxes: Well for whatever reason it cost money for me to file. When last year it didn't and nothing changed between now and back then. At least I don't owe.
  • Family: We're still struggling to make sure there's food on the table as well as bills paid. 
  • Doctor: Well I gotta pay some money despite having free insurance. Not everything is as free as it sounds.
  • Furniture: I'm in need of a new computer desk and things like a filing cabinet.
  • Prepping house for spring: Cause of what happened last year I need to make sure that insects like Wasps and spiders aren't going to be a nuisance this year.  
I'm not gonna be able to afford all this right away but its on my list.

Anyway what's on Youtube or coming is...

NiGHTs Journey of Dreams is finished.  Just finally managed to upload the true ending without copyright issues.

Suikoden - I'm working around Suikoden. I tried to upload it as a full walkthrough but Konami keeps claiming it. Unless its shortened videos. Guess they don't want how to videos on there games.  I asked them about it on Twitter and there staff knows nothing about it.  -_- smh.  I guess it'll just be boss fights then.

Gundam Breaker 2. I kinda slowed down on cause I wanna get certain parts before I beat the game. Playing online isn't exactly fun when everyone online is all about killing everything quick. So I can't farm online and I'm constantly being rushed.  There's also tons of DLC missions coming out by the week so I'm doing those as well.

Soulcalibur Lost Swords: You might not believe this but from the looks of things I'm done with the game.  The past 6 updates haven't shown any new quest to take on. New event stuff but no new characters. Just the same 3 overpriced ones. So I guess I'm done with the game.  Shame cause I was hoping they would add Aeon and a couple of characters to the game. Oh well.

Skylanders: Trap Team - This game just gets expensive as time goes. I didn't want to continue till I got some new guys but from the looks of the store that's not likely to happen.  I seriously looked around and found nothing. Bad thing is cause of where I live, finding skylanders figures is painfully hard to do without overpaying online.  I guess I'll finish it up soon. Just wish I could find those figures from my wishlist.

Street Fighter Alpha 3 - Nothing of note here just a world tour mode run.  Thought it would be fun to show. Nothing skillful sadly.  I can't do all that fancy crap like crouch canceling, instant guard breaks, etc.

Suikoden II - I already finished Suikoden I. Just moving on to Suikoden II.  Glad its on PSN now.

Pokemon Alpha Sapphire - Sorry I haven't been playing this as often as I should. Depression, motivation and other things keep getting my way.

Strike Suit Zero - I like this game. But I hate OBS (Open Broadcast Software) as a screen recorder for this game. Half the time I keep getting black screens as my recordings. Every other time its very crap quality for a supposed 1280p.  I don't see the appeal of OBS as screen recording software so I'm going to look for something else that's reliable to record.  I've given OBS enough chances as it is.