Wow it's Been Forever Since I Posted Anything Here

 So as the title says it's been forever.  There are a couple of post that are still in "Draft" but they'll probably stay that way.  I'm honestly afraid to post those.  I'm afraid to post most things these days.  It's not like my opinions won't be met with criticism and such.  But more that even I don't know if I 100% agree with myself. It's a horrible feeling.  

As it stands right now I'm just doing the bare minimum to keep afloat. Or really it's to keep my mind off the idea that the world is crumbling around me. If I'm not doing that I'm sleeping. I don't think I can handle the world outside my room. I feel trapped to be honest.  And I'm too scared to leave despite the way out being right there in front of me. 

I've once again started projects but I feel like I can't do anymore. I question myself what's the point of the whole thing when I know the end result is gonna be a major fail.  At that point I end up telling myself to stop wasting time and keep doing what works despite how much I hate it.  Youtube seems to think that way.  

Youtube Stuff

I don't have much to talk about here.  I'm between games trying to keep up with recording. It's not the energy it's more of a willpower issue.  I just have days where I don't want to do anything.  Then I find out I have nothing ready for the day and rush to record something.  I wish I could say I had an issue with comments but it's more that I have an issue with no comments except on old stuff.  I guess I don't mind.  It's better than no comments, bots, or whatever.

I want to do a sort of visual novel, game review sort of thing.  But I'm finding it's not exactly working out as planned. Picking a game to review is rough and just getting anywhere with it just has me being a defeatist and immediately want to quit on it. I had some encouragement from other people but I just don't see myself doing it.  I want to but I immediately feel like it's gonna fail and not worth the time sink.  That's not counting the home interruptions I get.  

Games Currently Working on At the Time of this Post:

• Persona 4 Golden
• Chocobo GP
• Mana Khemia 2: Fall of Alchemy
• Megaman ZX 
• Under Night In-Birth
• Ring Fit Adventure
• Night in the Woods

Other Things I'm doing

Random Voice Overs

 

 So I started doing line reads for various games cause I'm interested in Voice Acting. I'm not sure if I'll go through with it but I'm more interested in this than other things.  I've been doing line reads for Live-A-Hero and various visual novels. Still unsure as to how to get into voice acting career.  Just seems to cost a lot of money from what I've looked up. I don't even know who to ask about this stuff. 

Streams

Assuming I can get over my anxiety and defeatist attitude I can probably stream  again one day...  I don't have a lot of help in this as streaming has changed since I've done it long ago.  And asking anyone for assistance just gets me no where other than Googling it.  My problems don't really fall in the google category.  Just things not working or don't work.  Then people telling me I need fulfill crazy requirements in order to stream in the first place.  So I just end up saying screw it.

That's about it.  I wanna talk about other stuff but I don't feel comfortable talking about it.