Tuesday, April 30, 2013

May 2013 Update Well When No One Offers Suggestions...

Yep looked at the results of my partnership. And My view count (as well as many things) are far less than satisfactory.  I honestly think that I'm not cut out for things like this.  I mean I honestly don't know what to do that can get results that doesn't involve me compromising my moral values.

For 2 months I went around asking "Hey what can I do to get you guys to watch."  I've honestly received little to no response from this. In fact I mainly got negative responses or really I should say complaints.  I've tried to address these complaints one by one and nothing changed in fact I would say I got even worse responses.

Commentary: I tried various test commentary videos and podcast (I'll still do the podcast I guess).  No real response that differs from the normal.  So its obvious to me that commentary is not the way to go. I received no critique from it.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XxeuPt2UnUc  Was a test commentary video I did not too long ago.  It didn't even break 100 views. Its "Injustice: Gods Among Us" which is still fairly new. But either my commentary or just the game itself is granted no views.  Really only 2 comments about it. Honestly that's pretty horrible.
  • I have various Podcast videos about and literally no views or helpful comments are listed. 

Latest and Greatest Stuff: This is pretty much impossible for me to do.  One reason being the newest stuff that's out today I either have little to no interest in or its just far too expensive.  The other being my values and moral standards.  What's popular today is generally games I absolutely refuse to play. M rated games and games that just disgust me.  While I could go and just say **** my morals then what kind of person would I be? What's regarded as the worst type of person in existence IMO. A total hypocrite.  Granted nobodies perfect I'm sure that if I went against my morals I would end up hurting myself and those that think of me as a good person would suddenly drop me.


  • "Injustice: Gods Among Us" being a pretty much new game and pretty popular has no views at least from my standpoint.  So its obvious viewers don't want to see that at least to me. I also will not play this game due to the visible battle scars looking far too real and unsettling. 
  • While I would want a 3DS or WiiU I can't possibly afford one. Not even a PS3.  Too many other things have to be taken care of first.  
  • "Pokemon Black 2" Even if I got the game late was still regarded as a most wanted game.  However in terms of views I got nothing.  Maybe its due to the webcam but no one really told me anything.  
  • Ultimate Marvel vs Capcom 3 has views but I lost interest in the game. Due to the online community. I really don't wanna deal with it.

The Insults 

I actually received insults about my uploads new and old most of which I had to block. Suggesting I upload in the highest, rather impossible quality or that I upload games so late no one is interested.  Even some that pretty much tell me to give up or that they're going to report me for some stupid reason.  To those guys I have to say please don't be in charge of something.  Seriously I can't imagine how anything gets done with that kind of attitude that says, "This isn't good enough!"  

What Apparently Does Work and I'm Not Happy About

I seriously hate that its working but the videos I put little to no effort in.  Is what's getting all the views.  I honestly facedesk that these do get views cause they're honestly to me so stupid. I mean its only there for a laugh and in all honesty I put no effort behind them.  However when I give everything I got behind something no desired results.  




In the End

If I received some proper criticism or some good ideas that work and not just lazy cop outs I could give viewers what they want and be happy.  But if I have nothing to go on then not only do I get nothing out of it. But you guys get nothing out of it as well.  So it would help me if I got suggestions that work. I know it sounds like I'm complaining but I'm just telling it like it is.  I want to make the best of this partnership and right now the results are saying...."this is as far as you're ever gonna go."

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Sonic Generations - A Timeline of Love-Hate Relationship I Guess

I honestly have a love hate relationship with the Sonic series. And I don't mean that there's good Sonic games and bad ones cause I like em all (except Sonic CD...I can't make heads or tails of that lol). Sonic Generations is a mash up of almost (ALMOST) everything I like and hate about the Sonic series as of current. Now if you're expecting normal fan rage rant that's not what this is....I think...I don't know what the fanbase says anymore or care.  If you don't wanna read it or just get the whole summary of it Please Skip to the end of it. No one is forcing you to read it.

The Level Selection

If you didn't know Sonic Generations is pretty much take the memorable levels, redesign em, and throw them all into one game.  Now before you get all anal about the question EVERYBODY AND THERE DOG ASKS!!! I'll just spill it right here.  Here's my Level Choices

  • Sonic: Spring Yard Zone / Starlight Zone
  • Sonic 2: Chemical Plant / Hilltop Zone
  • Sonic 3: Hydrocity Zone / IceCap Zone
  • Sonic and Knuckles: Sandopolis Zone / Flying Battery
  • Something from the Game Gear I don't Remember the games right now and not gonna look em up
  • Something from Sonic CD
  • Sonic 3D Blast: Diamond Dust Zone / Gene Gadget Zone
  • Sonic Adventure: Sky Deck / Lost World
  • Sonic Adventure 2: Sky Rail / Metal Harbor
  • Sonic Heroes: Casino Park /Egg Fleet
  • Shadow the Hedghog: Westopolis / Final Story
  • Sonic 06: Wave Ocean / Dusty Desert
  • Sonic Unleashed: Dragon Road / Skyscraper Scamper/ Eggmanland (Yes Eggmanland)
  • Sonic Colors: Terminal Velocity / Starlight Carnival
There happy?
Random Weaboo: But some of those games are cannon to the Sonic Series. And then there's some that aren't Sonic's levels.

Those are the levels I like compared to what's chosen.  But oh well, "Beggars can't be choosers." But honestly what I would've liked to see in the game is different (and challenging) bosses.  Yeah you can have the same bosses but switch up who's fighting them. Have Classic fight the modern bosses and vice versa. 

Gameplay & Controls.....Oh boy...

If you're coming from Sonic Unleashed. You're in for a bit of a rude awakening.  Some say the controls (and physics) are better. I honestly feel they're worse.  To be honest I feel like there's a lot of times where I'm not in control of Sonic at all.  Really there's times I feel I'm on autopilot.  Not because of the "boost to win" saying many fans have dubbed.  But more of the game telling me "No" to various tricks I picked up from Unleashed. Worst of all of them it seems doing air boosts to skip sections is not only most of the time useless, but tends to get you killed. The Homing attack didn't seem responsive until I equipped the ability (that you get PRACTICALLY END GAME) to make it faster.  It really bit me in the butt on Planet Wisp and Chemical Plant cause Sonic somehow is facing the wrong direction.

Classic Sonic I never thought I would complain about physics but it seems that going into a roll by pressing down as you run actually makes you slower??!! Wha?!  No not the charge Spin Dash just going into a normal spin.  He also has the issue of some jumps being rather trollish. They're' some jumps that are literally just out of his reach.  Other than that he's alright and I enjoy using him more than Modern.

The Controls took at least 2 hours to get used to, to make it worse I can't edit them to my liking.  For Modern Sonic Homing attack going back to the A button and Boost not being as useful. To make me feel even worse Ring Dash and Stomp are virtually useless in the game.  But most of the time I kept mistaking homing attack for Boost and I paid for it hard.  For Classic I seem to have this trouble getting Sonic to stand in one place so I can do a charge spin dash. The game (as well as fans) kept encouraging to use the X button instead. I honestly feel its faster to do it manually cause you charge up to max way faster that way.  There are tons of occasions where I'm flying across the screen and I know I jumped but the game somehow counts it as (no you didn't) and I take damage.  My other issue was getting used to the level design.  I'm more or less used to jump over the springs at the edge of a cliff since the spring slows you down and most of the time in the old days there was always some sort of trap laid at the very end if you didn't jump.  This time however there's nothing but a bottomless pit waiting for me.  The best amount of control comes from Classic Sonic and the absolute worst is the Super Sonic fight.

My absolute favorite thing of the game was the use of Classic and (Some of) Modern Sonic's abilities during levels.  The downside to these is for one I have to unlock them which I wouldn't mind if I didn't have to wait so long to have them it honestly makes replaying stages pointless. The other is you can't use these abilities in challenge missions or boss fights (unless you're playing the PC version and hacking).  

The absolute worse was the game attempting to teach you certain aspects of the game. I found this really annoying during challenge missions or certain stage gimmicks.  Omachao explains to use Amy's high jump move is to first jump in the air and press Y. That didn't work...he kindly leaves out that I have to press it again at the right time.  Another one was making use of the Rocket Wisp power. Not only does Omachao say to hold down the Y button but the game says hold down Y.  So for about 2 minutes I was going WTF.

Story....I don't care for that...its a Sonic Game

No seriously its a Sonic game.  If you expect some epic story from an action platformer that's supposed to make sense or have some depth to it, you're in the wrong genre of games. 


I do like the soundtrack Sonic never seems to fail in that area. Even with the option to change the music during gameplay is nice.  Voices at this point I'm like whatever cause they're always changing the moment I get used to them so I don't even bother.  If I really cared I would change the voices to Japanese.


The only main gripe I have with this is the massive amount of WHITE used.  In terms of artist this is a good thing. For my eyes and TV (or well when I record and put it on YT) I get MASSIVE issues with that white background.  


HAHAHAHHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHHAHAH oh you're serious.  This game is not hard its seriously lenient to any Sonic player new or old.  As long as you don't die you'll get an S rank. There are some trolling times like Challenge Missions or achievements if you're into that. I only got frustrated when I tried to perform actions but was unable to do them correctly (like taking a shortcut).  Once you get a good feel on the controls there's almost no reasons why you shouldn't have an A or S rank.  For me this game does not encourage you to play better at all just encourages you to play.  

The Main Problem With This Game 

The absolute problem I have with this game is that it doesn't take risk like previous Sonic titles. Instead Sonic Team seemed to stay in the supposed safe zone in order not to piss off the majority of there fans.  Its reasonable to have the mentality of doing something right no point in changing it.  But its also reasonable to have something different to experiment with.  This game while it is successful gets boring for me really fast. I really appreciated it back when Sega added gimmicks along with the speedy platforming.  Sonic with a Sword that was fun, Sonic turning into some werewolf like creature. That fun.  Even more so it was challenging not only to adjust but master the mechanics.  I hope that Sega and Sonic Team will one day go back to taking risks and making the Sonic games more difficult to play.

Ending Point

Overall I did like Sonic Generations but its short lived.  I'm glad I picked this up for 15 bucks instead of full price.  In all honesty I think this is more of a rental title.  The controls unable to be edited bugs me a bit.  The same old gimmicks thrown about no real change put into the game. I really hope that future Sonic games will offer something new to the table like before Colors. There's such a thing as sticking to what works. But I honestly thing that the way Sonic is now they're just using a model and not doing anything beyond it.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Blazblue Chrono Phantasma Japanese Release Date

Well as time marches on The latest Blazblue has got a console release on the PS3 in Japan.  October 24th is the day.  Well that's not all.  More news according to Famitsu. Console is getting 2 more characters.

So to add to our already 3 new folks.  We get 2 more dudes.

On our left we got wait...Yuki Terumi?!  Hold up....So some crazy stuff is gonna go down with the famous troll?!  Judging from his look. Looks like that old Hazama attitude has left the building. I still question the outfit. On our right someone that looks pretty new to the scene Kagura Mitsuki.  He kinda looks related to Bang but he looks badass nonetheless. Here's hoping that either him or Azrael will be the first male character I can actually use in this series.There's no word on the OST of late. There are leaks of samples of the OST going around (besides Jin, Ragna, and Noel's theme). Anyway....I might have to bust down ArcSys door and go WHERE'S JUBEI!!!!


Tuesday, April 16, 2013

King of Fighters XIII - We got Flames, We got Kung Fu, We got Weapons

After waiting for so long I finally got this game for 20 bucks.  A $60 price tag was asking way too much, especially with the reception this game received IMO. Yeah its a great game but its so short lived. I call this game that got kicked to the curb cause CAPCOM was owning the scene. Even though I like this game better than Marvel vs Capcom, SoulCalibur, Tekken, etc.  The one sad thing about this game is the online netcode is subpar.  So no one is really online to play this game.  The offline community is vast but I don't know any that plays and for the most part don't want to know.


I want to say the system goes back to the days like KoF 11 or older. But I love the the fact that this game doesn't shortcut moves or autocorrect you unlike most of the CAPCOM fighters out there.  I feel more in control of the game and not instantly thrown in auto-pilot.  Sure the command input time (How much time you're allowed to input certain moves) is strict but that helps me out a lot.  Really I love how the game isn't simplified just to appeal to new players.  This game also rewards skill and doesn't let you get away with murder by you're mashing (looking at you Marvel 3).

The cast is quite big compared to the flop that was KoF 12. The artwork is just as great and the sound is just beautiful. I'm kinda sad that the game doesn't have dual audio voices but its probably for the best. The tutorial mode could be better I would like the game to explain the characters in depth to get to know them better.  Yeah I know there's guides but I like for the game itself to teach me or learn it myself.  Anyway I love how the game makes me feel satisfied winning or losing. Winning feels like this game is saying, "Keep up the good work" unlike most other fighters that that leave me with an empty feeling.  Losing makes me feel like the game is saying get up and try again while others throw that feeling of "You will never be good at this game."

*Slight Spoiler But if you're reading this and as old as the game is you should already know by now.*
Story Mode is meh. Its supposed to help understand what's going on and why everything happened the way it did.  But really its meh.  For the most part it lets you know who's still alive and why XXXX character isn't in the game.  You get a bit of background on Ash and Saiki.  You get to know the Mukai group a bit more.  Not much else.  Survival mode is just like every other KOF survival. It starts off piss easy then the random stray hits add up.  Time Attack Mode is like survival but more like don't die while you fight these characters till the end. I hate Trial mode.  Once again the fighting games decides that to learn the game you gotta use the combos given in Trial mode as a starter. Not only do they ask you some really near impossible tasks. But they also have no leeway in terms of landing the combo.  Its bad enough that KOF series is pretty much the hardest to do combos in with little command time you're allowed.

Anyway out of all the fighters out at this point this is the one I enjoy the absolute most (if you're counting current gen).  I'm actually left with a good feeling after I play. I'm glad the price for this game dropped I would like the OST but that can wait for later.

Tuesday, April 9, 2013


Just got the demo. It finally got released to those who don't have Xbox Live Gold.  I have mixed thoughts about it.

The demo was released last Sunday for those who have PS3 and Xbox Live Gold.  So Silver Accounts was pretty much "Too Bad. Sucks to be you, shoulda gave us money to get Gold."  Anyway if you don't know what this game is. Its DC Heroes (Batman, Superman, etc.) beating the crap outta each other.

I like the feel of the combat.  It doesn't feel like the game is reliant on the random factor or comebacks from hell. The moves are simplified and honestly anyone can jump into the game with as little knowledge as possible. The environment usage is fun and seems like something you'd see in an episode of Justice League.

The supers are freakin brutal.  From Batman hitting you with his car to Doomsday punching you so hard you go through the Earth and back (no not around it through it).  The command input feels slightly off to me but that might of been cause of my controller kept holding down Left the entire time.  The game seems really balanced. Even super long combo strings don't inflict too much damage unlike other games that are much faster pace.  I feel like you can mash and get away with it at least for the first couple of days.  So that's how friendly the system is.

What I find nice for those that are hardcore fighters (I don't fit that category.)  Is that the game list the frame data for all the characters moves.  Now I don't have to go to some lame site that'll never complete its guide on the exact info I'm looking for in a fighting game. *cough cough* SRK *cough* Dustloop *cough* etc.

Probably the only thing that makes me feel a bit queasy (if that's the right word) is the visible damages on the characters.  I mean I come from the old school cartoons.  I never read the comics since what I've seen in those they're apparently far more brutal than the DC cartoons would ever go.  For me I'm rather uncomfortable seeing it as the battle scars is not a simple blood running down your face, costume's a tad shredded here and there and the character looks pissed. This looks like they were infected with a flesh eating disease or someone tortured them by carving off parts of his or her skin. Part of me wanted to throw up from seeing that.  I remember mentioning this before in a comment and fans jumped on my case about it saying it could be a lot worse.  If it did become a lot worse I wouldn't even touch this demo with a 100-foot pole.  Also don't know if I said this before but I don't care who made the game I just care about the game itself.

I honestly hope that the full game includes an option to turn off visible damages and blood otherwise it'll truly be a dealbreaker for me.

What was lame about the demo is that you don't get to play as Doomsday (unless there's some sort of trick to unlock him). I mean you fight against him and yet nothing about playing as him.  He seems like a character that would fit me for this game. Anyway I guess I'll wait till the main game releases before I decide on whether I'll buy this or not.

Lex Luthor

I don't see him too much as a keep away. More like Aggressive projectiles like that of Nu-12/Lamda-11.  Able to play a close range game that's painful and long range is just as deadly.


He seems like the character everyone will use in a mash fest for about a week then either move on or learn his moves. He can inflict some pain.

Wonder Woman

I see some crazy combos in her future.  That Lasso of truth can really do a number if used right.

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Why I hate Doing Commentary

Its been a growing concern among many.  At first I wrote it off as trolls but now its practically a trend to where I have to do Commentary over games to be considered good.  I honestly been doing the same thing for years and never heard that I have to do commentary before. Anyway I generally hate doing commentary.  For a multitude of reasons.

First consider two videos I came across in the past few months about doing commentary.

How to do a Playthrough By HellfireComms

How Not to do a Playthrough By Hellfirecomms

It was those 2 videos alone that gave me sort of a clearer view about doing commentary. I also asked NTom64 a very long time ago on Formspring (when it was popular) about Commentary.  There's a lot of stuff however I disagree with when it comes to doing Commentaries.

Research & Useless Trivia 

Apparently there's a lot of information to look up about whatever game your playing aside from a typical GameFAQs strategy guide. The information I see a lot of players give out is generally stuff I don't care about most of the time.  Like information about how this song was made, Voice Acting, What the fans think of it, What the game could have been, etc.  While all that information is interesting.  At the end of the day its rather useless to me.  Just take that information and throw it on a random DVD/Blu-Ray Disc or on some special show titled the making of *Insert Game Title Here*.  I pretty much care only for the finished product not what could have been.  And a lot of times the useless Trivia is delivered in such a way that its boring content. I would hate to tell someone who the voice actor is or that this game could've been made this way.

Time Investment

My time is already stretched thin. With recording the footage to converting it to a sharable format.  It would take even more time to edit my own words and even to make sure I can be heard over the game content.  I've probably mentioned this before but my computer is slow.  It barely hits acceptable standards.  So converting a video to a format where the quality looks nice takes roughly 10 to 12 hours. Kinda sucks when I have times where I can't even do any other activity on the net or record more content.  So pretty much a few days is spent on uploading rather than recording.  

Doing the Commentary

For one I only enjoyed the commentary during Livestreams. But that enjoyment went away when well nobody watches or chats. Doing commentary in my room without a stream not only makes me look like I'm insane to others. But honestly I have nothing to say most of the time.  Maybe during battle not during say cutscenes or even walking. Considering my set of viewers I recall having more people thanking me for doing playthroughs without me talking over them as opposed to doing commentary.  I really don't feel comfortable doing it and post commentary is just ugh.  Another reason I consider is a huge thing is if no one reads the blogs I post. Then why should I bother with commentary? 

Being a Bad Influence (Making a Band-Wagon)

This is something I want to avoid as much as humanly possible.  I've noticed on a lot of channels I either used to watch or I'm still currently watching.  That those guys exert a strong influence over there viewers.  They may not mean to. But I find that if you even remotely disagree with the person that uploads then their fans jump on your case attempting to make you feel stupid for not jumping on the band wagon.  To me it seems that everyone assumes that everyone else has the same situation as there own and think that you're life should be the same as there own.

It also doesn't help that a lot of times those Commentators make jokes or references even though they don't mean it. A lot of times it gets taken seriously.  Yeah you can say oh well that person has **** up his/her butt but that's no way to go about it.  I've heard bad jokes and heard thoughts where the person saying them should really consider their audience first.

Ex: "If you die here than you should just quit games entirely."  -Anonymous

 Perfectionism Needed??

This was something I felt was implied when watching a lot of Let's Plays. The apparent need to do a perfect run and edit out all your mistakes.  Personally I feel if you're doing a commentary. You edit within reason but don't be a total perfectionist about it.  Yeah people love no damage and speed runs but leave that for other videos.  When I hear commentators say "Well this fight/part is hard." I don't believe them for a second cause that part was either edited out or the run is perfect. I personally wanna see those mistakes so I can watch and say, "Oh well if and when I playthrough this game I'll be sure to watch out for that."  If I see a perfect run or tons of unnecessary editing my mind is thinking well this game is clearly easy and I shouldn't even bother playing it.

List of Good and Bad Examples

I've watched a few Let's Players and personally I came to either unsubscribe or keep watching.

Bad Examples

These guys at times not only spend forever in certain spots of the game and never edit them out. (Goes back to Unnecessary and necessary editing. comment earlier).  But a lot of times they'll talk about something completely irrelevant to the game.  Really its stuff to keep behind closed doors.  I ended up unsubscribing from these guys for those reasons.

While these guys end up in good and bad examples.  There commentaries crosses the line between Normal and chaotic. I generally blame the amount of commentators they have at times.  So a lot of times its normal then other times it turns into a chaotic comedy show and I totally lose interest in the video and just listen and laugh at them trying to talk over one another.  I do appreciate the fact that there's non-commentary footage of most of there games available to watch.

This channel strongly reflects my comments of being a bad-influence or a band-wagon.  They may not mean some of the things they say but disagreeing with them causes a good group of there fans to go into attack mode and force that person (or people) to feel stupid for thinking that way instead of being allowed to have a  opinion.  There's also points where they'll talk over one another and I eventually just watch them for the comedy.

Good Examples

Yo Videogames!
Even though these guys don't always upload things I like to watch.  The 2 (or sometimes 3) of them always manage to keep my interest.  Commentary that applies to the game most of the time and what I would call humans are playing the game. They're not trying to talk over one another and the trivia used is interesting.

I recently just started watching him.  And he focuses mainly on the game.  Not on useless facts. But mainly on the game itself.

There are times when these guys do good work.  So I have to give them credit for that.  When its the right combination of people involved in the commentary. It works.  Exactly who those ppl are? I'm not telling.

Anyway with that said I have considered doing commentary but it likely will not happen. And it definitely won't happen over games I already started.

So I went to a psychiatrist

Its funny cause I'm making steps to try and climb outta this depression and that's when people try to get me help on something.

Well I went.  And talked for awhile.  Basically the what she told me was I need to get out more and associate with people of my own age group.  Kinda what I was already starting to do anyway.  But she insisted I hang with "other" people.  She also said I might be Bi-Polar in terms of feeling great and suddenly feeling down. But she doesn't know for sure. The most she did confirm was saying that myself moving around so much caused me to miss out on a ton of development and that's what I need to fill.

I'm honestly not feeling great about hanging with other people or finding something to do outside my own home.  Cause around here there isn't much to do that I'm comfortable with doing.  And also doesn't cost money.

But that's how it went.  No medication yet and I feel like I'm gonna end up on medication I probably don't need.

Monday, April 1, 2013

April Woes (April 2013 Update)

Well Start of April and nothing to look forward to.


I remember I posted a video asking the viewers, "hey what do you want to see?" What can I do for more views?  And virtually got no responses.  Which is rather disheartening.  So I took another approach and looked at my own video ratings as well as other ppl's channels. What I found out was seriously depressing.

Basically my top 10 videos were all basically anime based and one being a random gameplay video of an old game.  Worst yet looking at my latest videos it seems that videos I put 0 effort into gets more views than anything I put my all into.  To make it worse looking at other channels I found that basically they were either 1 of 3 things.

  1. Always uploaded the latest and greatest game that's released. (I can't do that cause I'm poor and a lot of games I just don't want to play.
  2. Is virtually great at what they do and fans love them for it. (Very hard to follow cause stuff I'm great at no one cares for.)
  3. Completely SUCK at the game but there commentary and fails grab the viewers. (I.E. DSP, AngryGermanKid, etc.)
There's probably more but that's what I figured. Then I thought about the past mistakes I made (Monster Hunter Tri Fiasco, Ultimate Marvel 3, etc.) maybe that's why viewers left.  

What I tried to do was cash in things ppl wanted to see.  First being Kingdom Hearts 1.5.  Since a US version isn't coming for a good while why not upload the PS2 version?  Well that idea was totally wrong since I guess viewers are like why not just watch this other guy who has the Japanese version of 1.5?  Makes sense I guess.  So I tried going to other anime based games. Since I don't have Naruto I can go for Zoids.  But again no one likes.  

I tried talking to those that are partnered but I generally got no answer from them. Most of them told me "Don't worry about it." Yet those people have like 6 or 8+ times the amount of subscribers and viewers I have.  Others won't even give me the time of day.  I started to wonder if I had some sort of rep I don't know about.  


Yeah it rears its ugly head again.  Nothing I can really do about it.  I personally still have a rough time dealing with it.  It affects my gameplay, being social, really everything I do or try to do.  A lot of times I have ideas for projects and then I feel that its totally useless to even try.  Worst times I've actually thought of suicide and came close to trying it on occasion.  If I wasn't keeping busy with everything else I would do it and get it over with.  Especially since about a year ago I wrote out this elaborate plan on how to do it.  Its a very trying time for me.  But I guess that's what happens for guys like me.  This Depression honestly has slowed me down quite a bit to where things that should take maybe an hour to finish take 3+ days to do.  Its only made worse when I have people that are like, "Hey shut up! There's tons of ppl that have it worse than you!"  I actually had to stop with a lot of games cause of it. Really I'm just afraid to touch a lot of games cause of it.

What's being Uploaded.

I haven't exactly decided. I really wanna make the best of the YT partnership and start off strong but hard to do so when choices are limited.  I might try League of Legends but I'm not gonna really do anything with it.  Finding a job is hard work as well since a lot of places either don't want me or the business isn't opening up till who knows when. But I'll continue KH1 for the time being I suppose.