Sunday, February 23, 2014

(Lightning Returns: FFXIII) Brad Ry Returns/ FFXIII-3: Prologue

I figure I would try a fun way to explain what I'm going through on the game. Honestly feel like drawing it out but then ppl would call me a Hiimdaisy wannabe.  LOL.

Brad Ry Returns: FFXIII-3 (Prolouge) 

Brad: Its been a year since I played the last game. That year where Caius trolled all of us. And the world went boom. Now I'm back as the Savior and I'm supposed to save ppl and bring them to the next world. I got 13 days to do it, sounds like fun right?

Hope: Brad there's a lot of ppl at this party do you wanna turn back?

Brad: Why? I get to crash this awesome party.

*soldier's soul flies out of them*

Brad: Why am I rapturing ppl?

Snow: (I wonder how the fans will like my new look.)

*Chaos flows in*

Soldier: Sir...

Snow: Yeah...yeah I know.

Random Female: AHHH OMG Monsters! Help me I'm being dragged away classic horror movie style *scream*

Snow: The Savior is here...

Brad: Sup Snow! Why do you look like you wanna be in the next Devil May Cry game.

Snow: DAMN YOU!!!

Brad: Behold my awesome moves that you'll never get to use in the game till the end of it!

Snow: So what's it gonna be...You gonna "SAVE" me?

Brad: Why ya gotta be a jerk in this game?


Lumina: Now now we can't let Snow be the tutorial boss fight. Then this game would be too easy.

Brad: Did I just see Serah?

Snow: Damn you Lumina!!! I'm outta here!

Brad: Wait Snow Come back!!!

Hope: You gotta have your tutorial fight first!!

Brad: WHYYYYY!!!!! Can't I read it in the instruction manual?!

Hope: What are you talking about? Focus on the enemy!

Tutorial: Ok we know you reviewed this same tutorial in the demo version of the game. But we're going to go over it again.

Brad: Ok....

Tutorial: Oh and now you'll have situations where you'll have to fight more than one enemy.

Brad: WHAT?!


Brad: Ok now to chase after Snow!

Shopkeep: Hi I'm here to help you by selling you stuff.

Brad: Why do you look like a dude from Assassin's Creed?

Hope: You gotta chase after Snow!

Brad: Oh right!

Hope: Oh yeah here's a tutorial on jumping and opening doors.

Brad: I don't think I need a tutorial on that.

Tutorial: Let me tell you how to jump and open doors!

Brad: ....Can we please get get on with the story.

Brad: Alright now to pursue Snow...Wait what's all this dark fog stuff.

Hope: Brad? Brad?! Where are you? My monitors are screwing up!

Brad: Hey its that girl again.

Lumina: Oh you made it this far. You must be pretty good well here's your tutorial boss fight!

Brad: Wait what?!

Zaltys: ROAR!!!!

Tutorial: Ok now here's another tutorial. Press R2 to get a helpful analysis. Just like the old games and Persona series you have to guess to figure out the enemies weakness.

Brad: Ugh...that's totally useless...I'll just use a guide...

Tutorial: Oh and press L2 to do something awesome!

Brad: Ok...

*Presses L2*


*Monster Dies*

Brad: Ok now chase after Snow!

*Runs to locked door*

Brad: Hope the door locked can you open it?

Hope: Nope my computer sucks! Anyway there seems to be a lot of chaos building up behind that door.

Brad: Hmmmm...maybe my Savior powers will open the door.

Hope: Don't touch it! Anyway the cops are coming you need to get out of there!

Brad: But what about Snow?!

Hope: We'll get him later! You need to turn back now.

Brad: I can handle a few cops..

Hope: No you can't! You got a more important job to do! I'm transporting you back!

Brad: But....*warps*

The Ark

Hope: Hey Brad welcome back. Now offer your spirit to Yggdrasil.

Brad: Wait why am I doing this?

Hope: Well the tree helps prolong the world's lifespan.

Brad: So I can have longer than 13 days?

Hope: No. But if you're not making progress in the game then the world will blow up and you'll fail the game and have to start all over from the beginning.

Brad: Wait what about you?

Hope: Well I don't know why I went back to the whiny kid version of myself. I don't even remember who exactly I am. I know that I'm Hope but I can't remember the emotions that happened in FF13-1 or 2.

Brad: Well that's awfully suspicious...

Hope: Oh, take a look at this monitor.  These are all the main points of storyline. You need to go here and finish these.

Brad: So I can get back and save Snow?

Hope: Yes...

Brad: ok so I'm going back there! Teleport me!

Hope: Well I can't... I only have one warp point available you'll have to go there by train.

Brad: This game is really starting to annoy me.

Thursday, February 20, 2014

Lightning Returns: Dress Your Best for the End of the World

After screwing up and getting an ending that 80% of the world was unhappy with cause it wasn't your classic Disney movie ending. We get one last shot to save the world. Can Lightning do it? Well she can if she has the right outfit for it. This game has as many pros as it does cons to cancel each other out.  I find one good thing then the game delivers me something bad afterwards.

Storyline Uh...Ok???

So uh after years after we thought we screwed the world. The world still lives on but is on its last days.  Lightning now has to play angel and rapture people to bring them to the new world. Ok I know that last sentence sounds ignorant but really this game's purpose just plays on that whole rapture scare we had in the past.  Or really I should say its there to piss off 90% of the many religions out there.  Its missing a fathead pope looking dude though. Lets put this dude in just cause.

Seriously Lightning Returns lacks a pope looking dude.

Anyway listening to what happened to the other characters You go WTF. Everyone got screwed over or is continuously being trolled. I question why the last goddess Etro suddenly turns out to be bad while this other one Bhune...Bhunevel...whatever is suddenly the good guy (I know how it ends).  Lightning screws up and Etro is suddenly a bad guy.

Battle System

That battle system is alright...until you fight certain enemies and bosses.  No more party to fight with you except for useless characters that don't exactly help out when you need it.  SE is truly stressing this your on your own bit.  Staggering the enemy can be either wonky or favorable depending on who you fight. It really takes a page from Persona 3 and 4's book of "guess till you get it right."  It really pissed me off when the enemy is so close to stagger but just won't cross that line. Or the alternate where the enemy is staggered but still managing to kick your ass. It gets rather annoying but this has been there since the first FF13 game.

Guarding is rather annoying. Its changed from being a minor thing to a requirement in battle. What I mean is in the first 2 games while the game suggested that you switch to Sentinel role and use the many guard commands. In reality you didn't have to you just switch to the Sentinel role take the damage switch to healing or go back to whatever attacking role you were in.  Now its an absolute requirement that you guard and try to do it with perfect timing.  Easier said than done in most cases.  The normal case is you're used the enemy's pattern of attacks but they'll change it ever so slightly to annoy you.  The other instance (which I absolutely hate) is the game's camera will go dynamic and zoom in on the enemy when they're about to use a special move. This makes it very hard to block attacks in most cases I mistime it or waste ATB to where I can't guard anymore cause I can't tell when the attack is supposed to connect.  The game wants you perfect block like you were Daigo Umehara back in the early 2000s at that SF3 Tournament. Really annoying to pull off.

World Map

Honestly I find it rather annoying to navigate at times.  I get turned around easily due to battles. The time clock moves really fast for having 24 hours to do stuff before you're forced back to base and the game ends up like Zelda: Majora's Mask telling you that you have so much time left.  While its nice to have abilities to stop the clock for a few minutes. I find it annoying when I'm near the boss that every enemy decides to show up and stop me. While it would be simple to fight them I know that its a waste of items or time to bother fighting them.  Makes trying to play conservative is rather difficult. The sidequest are rather annoying to simple there's times where you're asked to collect certain items and you likely already have them in your possession due to either exploring or doing the main quest.  Then you have annoying ones that require you to travel across the world or return at a specific time (usually a few hours before the day ends).  While the game tells you that you can't possibly do every single quest and make the best use of your time. Honestly it doesn't seem to be the case. I actually had quite a few quest that couldn't get complete until a certain other quest was done. What I'm saying is they actually overlapped and I pretty much got locked out a few quest despite the time limit making me unable to complete certain ones until this old one was either marked failed or complete.


While I originally thought that you gain a bunch of outfits and weapons you can use however you want they actually serve as your armor and attack power.  Its a little annoying when I see some have auto-abilities that I don't want on that costume.  So really your customization is rather limited by the game's system.  You can color your outfits as well but generally as much as some fighting games.


I was hoping that the ability system would work similar to that of Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep or Crisis Core FF7.  You know where you can fuse abilties together to get new and improved ones.  Instead they only get slightly improved by giving you various stat boost.  The way to get new abilties is to buy the outfits or convincingly PWN the enemies and hope they drop an ability.  Rather disappointing to say the least but also like Birth By Sleep there's just certain moves that are pretty much so Overpowered you just can't leave home without it. Honestly annoying to a good degree that I still don't have a RPG game where you can customize things how you like without risking conserquences. (haven't had RPGs like that in awhile)


I'm generally in it for the story despite how much logic you can drop at the points that make no sense. The battle system doesn't cut it for me in fact its rather frustrating at times along with the encounter rate. The story is ok but needs work.  The more I think about the storyline the more I want to slap all the main characters in the face.  The battle system needs a lot of work and a lot more variety in monsters.  Honestly I paid 70 bucks for this? It gives you a NG+ but there's not much to do.

Quite the Dilemna here - Random Magazine Subscriptions?

An issue that's been going for me for months has been bugging me.

For the past couple of months I've been receiving issues of MAXIM magazine in my name.  MAXIM magazine is a magazine that's tailored specifically towards guys or really I should say male adults.  Its full of things males want to see (women, dirty jokes, and the like). I wasn't let known of this till October. Apparently my mom was taking those issues with her to her job and leaving them for people to read. Aside from that WTF, I questioned why was I getting these. I would never read such a magazine I saw the cover and thought the absolute worse for my reputation and immediately threw em away.

After recieving that October 2013 issue I thought that would be the last I would see of them. I had thoughts that maybe a friend or someone I knew signed me up for it as a form of a sick joke. But I couldn't think of who would do that.  Later on I ended up still getting issues...without my knowledge my mom again took them to her job for others to read.  I didn't catch that I was still receiving issues till yesterday Feb. 18th, 2014.  I decided to try and get to the bottom of this and figure out what's going on.

Checking my past year's bank statements I found nothing that stood out as weird purchases. So it wasn't someone nabbing my credit/debit cards.  I contacted the magazine company directly telling them to cancel my subscription. There response was as follows,

Dear Mr. Dixon,
We cancelled your subscription and the April 2014 issue should be the last one you receive.
Your order was placed through the Subco agency and they will be able to assist you with your billing inquiry. Their telephone number is 800 258 3350.

Rosa Vitera
Email Customer Service
So with that information I went to check out who this "Subco Agency" was.  Apparently there one of those 3rd party groups that sign you up for things and make money based on how many people they can sign up. Reading more info on them I find tons of complaints similar to my own although they seem to rather exaggerated or in a worst position than I'm in personally. There was one complaint stating that he/she couldn't cancel there subscription unless they called Subco Agency directly, and every time that person made the call they were connected to voicemail.  
The thing I'm wondering is how did my information make it to them? Did I click some random offer on accident? Is someone misusing my collected information (which is highly illegal)? Did someone I know use my name and address for whatever reason? I'm more or less worried in that regard.  I'm honestly glad I managed to get that magazine cancelled. There would've been a lot of trouble if some people I know saw me getting these.