HealthI pretty much told my Doctor to **** off as he wasn't helping with anything nor was the medication. I pretty much disposed of what meds I had. Cancelled my appointments and decided I'm just going to go this depression thing solo. I didn't have a choice in the matter anyway as my insurance runs out and I'm not paying $400 a month to see a guy I only see once every 3 months.
While there is some kind of insurance available I can't really do anything with it. So like I said I'm running this depression thing solo and just pray that it doesn't run me into a grave.
FamilyMy family is well...ugh...As I sit in my room often times I hear jokes cracked and they're the type that you shouldn't say at all. I mean seriously these kind of jokes would probably land you in serious trouble with other people if they heard you. In or out of context.
So I put down to get the hell out of here ASAP. I can't stand where I live anyway.
YoutubeThe part that people only truly care for cause it's entertainment for the viewers. Anyway yeah some big changes are in order based on what I've been seeing. But these will not be favorable changes for the viewers anyway.
Time Schedule ChangeLook at what's viewed and what's not being viewed. I noticed that well I need to move the release schedule around. 9AM, 12PM, 9AM, 12AM just isn't working out. I can't use this month as a reference cause it's a holiday season and holiday season has a bunch of people off from whatever so they can just watch Youtube till they pass out.
Regardless this schedule will have to change. To what I don't know. I'll figure that out soon.
What's To Be PlayedThe biggest change. I'm pretty much sick of the whole request thing. Or the suggestions that I play new games/Indie Games. Guess what those don't grab views. While the belief is that these do cause everybody pretty much jumps ship to the newest thing. The issue is keeping them. While I could bust my ass to get a new game and I have done so. It's all for naught. I could keep these people maybe 1 or 2 days then they're gone. It's like they're saying I should've got the game in Japanese or long before Japan even gets the game and beat it in a week. No time to ENJOY the game just beat it.
At that same time I'm wasting money cause I'm not enjoying the game, instead I'm suffering. I can't tell you how many times I said to myself I wish I never played this game. Especially when it comes to Indie games. Wish I got my money back on some indie games.
So I've concluded that I'm not going to be focusing on new games. I need to save money anyway. There's no point in bending over backwards to get a new game when the interest for that game is gone. And I have a ton of games that I still haven't finished yet. Even more games I haven't even opened yet. They need far more attention than the new games that get boring for me after a day.
|All these Games Most of Which I haven't Even Played Not even counting what's downloaded to consoles.|
I know it's not favorable. But I want to keep my sanity. Not to mention keep things simple. I highly doubt anyone would truly care if I died or my channel went down or I quit or whatever. I looked deeply at that very subject. If I was to suddenly disappear from the net. No one would know what happened. They would assume I just up and vanished for a length of time and eventually forget about me. It's a fact. My family would know but they wouldn't say anything to anyone online. As they don't know anyone I associate with. So how would people know I died. They wouldn't.
Anyway. That's all I can say for youtube and stuff in the coming year. I'm subjecting myself to hell but it has to be done.